fail.

Have you seen this graphic on pinterest?

I hate it.  Bad.   Really.  Every time I see it, it digs under my skin a little.  I hate when someone tells me that I can not accomplish all that I want.  I hate it even more when I realize it myself.  This weekend has been a little like that.  I had really big plans, and I did not succeed.  If I had not set myself up with a goal, it would have been okay, but I did.  And I failed.

I never want this to be a blog that only shares the lovelies of our life.  The fun times and the success projects that we do here and there.  So I thought it necessary that I share the failures as well.  I also can not stand when people complain, so hopefully I will be able to walk the tight line between honesty and whining/self pity.

This weekend I had three goals. 1. Keep the baby alive while Jay was out of town.  2. Serve my shift at Chalk up the Town with Charlotte on my back in her backpack carrier, without people gawking.  3.  FInish Beth's BIrthday Quilt.  Yeah, that quilt that was given back in JANUARY!

I should feel slightly successful because, C is still alive and pretty happy might I add.  We went to Chalk up the Town, had a great time and I do not think many people thought I was crazy with C on my back.  The last goal is where I fail.  I was just not in my groove this weekend.  I need my groove to sew. No groove, no sewing.  I started the weekend with one of my favorite movies, Mona Lisa Smile while I attached the required letters to the back of the quilt, it took the whole movie, but I think they look super cute.  I assembled the back of the quilt, penny strip and all on Saturday morning, made my quilt sandwich and was ready to roll.  Only I was not rolling to good.  I completed a couple passes and it didn't look right, tore it out, tried again..times three.  Finally got it right and quilted about an 1/8 of the quilt before Chalk up the Town Saturday afternoon with plans to finish it that night.

It turns out that carrying a baby for two plus hours can really wear on you and make your back and neck pretty tight.  Saturday night is when the fail started to happen.  I first had a little melt down and gave up on the quilt for the night.  I can not quilt when I do not feel perfect.  I know that some people may wrongly think that I am really good at sewing-not so.  I just have to much confidence and jump into things to quickly.  In some ways in life it has been helpful, in other ways not, and I am sure  it has given Jay loads of headaches.

So, Sunday morning I continue quilting on Charlottes first nap that was from 7:00-9:00.  She napped so early because she woke up at 4:45.  I blame that on part of my self destruction.  When I got home from church and looked over my progress I hated it.  I did not like how I quilted it, I did not like the length of stitches or the tightness.  It was not good, so I watched some Yard Crashers.  After my little break I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and got it together.

I practiced a little, got all the kinks out and was actually really enjoying myself.  I was cruising!  Loving the design, even beginning to sing a little.  Got more finished in thirty minutes than I had over two hours the previous two days.  I was really fleeing confident.  I had found it, my grove!

And then my needle broke. Ha!

I do not have any more, so I have to run out when C gets up from napping.  I guess my groove is on hold for now.  Life lessons, as soon as you get overly confident (and sing while you quilt) your needle will break!

-melissa