As most people do, I have some great mothers in my life. This is making me fairly reflective this mother’s day because it is the first that I am a mother myself. I have been mulling over the past week and a half exactly the type of mother I would like to be and what I have learned from those great mothers that have gone before me. Isn’t it sad that it takes a holiday to actually get me thinking about the mother I would like to be! In my own defense with an almost eight week old my brain has not really settled on too many reflective things these days.
Well upon much thought I came up with my favorite qualities of some of the great mothers in my family. I will start with my own mom, she was and still is to this day fabulous at creating memories and traditions. My mom always made every holiday super special, I can remember fancy Valentines Dinners in the good dining room and almost every Christmas tree her and I ever decorated. My mom also has set into place some very memorable traditions like her and my dad decorating family members graves every single year. They drive zigzags over the state of Kentucky and Ohio to visit and decorate every loved ones grave. She was not only great at the big things but little surprises that I really liked as a kid, something as odd as rearranging my bedroom when I was away at school so when I got home I had a whole new bedroom. Some of these things may seem common place or even odd but growing up I always knew that time, energy and thought were spent on making things special.
Next I will move to Jay’s mom, Jenanne. Jenanne and her whole family for that matter has always been excellent about verbalizing their love for others. Some would say they are emotional, but she is great about letting others know that they are special and loved. I do not know how many times I have rolled my eyes when she has gone on and on about how she loves me, both before and after Jay and I were married. Jenanne also really lets her feelings be known over the phone, through cards and letters. I know that the people that are special to her know exactly how she feels. She has not held any emotions back and I find that a truly great quality.
In addition to making some great memories for my kids and really verbalizing how much I love them, I want to make sure that I instill some really important qualities into my children. I first and foremost want them to have a love for God. I want it to be an essential part of who they are. I want them to be able to read and pray and know God personally so much so that it effects who they are and what they will become as people. Right along with that I so much want my children to be compassionate. I want them to see others and really care. Not just because they are told to, but because they are following my lead and genuinely care about others. I do not want them to care about other good people, or church goers, or the innocent victim either, those people are easy to feel compassion for. I want them to care for the dirty, the stinky, the poor, the hateful. The ones that it is not easy to feel compassion towards. I know that both of these will take a good deal of patience, many years and a whole lot of them watching what Jay and I do and how we live our lives and not so much what we tell them to do...kinda scary! Last but not least, I want my kids to have a strong self esteem. Not an inflated one, not one where they think they are good at everything and surely not one that they think they are the best at everything. I want them to honestly know who they are, accept who they are and be proud of themselves. I want them to understand that everyone is different and who they are is exactly who they are suppose to be.
Some of these might seem far fetched, but we must have goals right! I know that I will not be a perfect mom and that I will probably screw up the same amount of times that I succeed with raising children, at least I know what direction I am headed. It is easy to know what direction you are headed when you have such great role models and mothers like I have in my life. Happy Mothers Day everyone I hope you can for a moment be as reflective and slightly corny as I have been this Mother’s Day and think of some of the things that make your mom so special!
-melissa
