This month went by quickly! Oliver had his one month appointment on Friday and today he is one month old. He's plumping up and doing well. He is a laid back boy and we all love him. Every once in a while I even catch Jack, our dog checking him out and giving his head a sniff. Charlotte loves her little brother, asks to hold him and likes to help out with diaper changes by handing us wipes after a bad blowout. This whole parenting thing is much easier the second time around. Both of our mom's have been able to come in to help and just spend time with us and a good time has been had by all. Oliver has been a blessing. Enjoy these pictures of our little man. I think he likes the camera already!
I’m a father again – part 3
It seemed like people just kept flooding into our room, but still no doctor. I know that any one of the nurses on that floor can and probably have delivered their own share of babies, but there is just something comforting about having a real doctor in the room. It wasn't one minute later and in walked Dr. Moore, a young good looking guy with a calm and easy going voice. I'm sure the nurses got him up to speed with all of their stats, numbers and tla's (three letter acronyms). He checked Melissa to see how dilated she was and began to ask a little bit more about our previous birth. The nurses hurried about. Some setting up an i.v. Some setting up the table where Oliver would soon lay. Others were busy just waiting to assist with the birth...getting certain supplies ready for Dr. Moore to request them. Despite everything we knew about Melissa's history he encouraged us that Oliver was right there and that we really needed to try to see if Melissa could just push him out. One part of me was thinking, "if only you were there in the room last time, you might feel differently" but another part of me was thinking, "what if?" What if this could work? His words were so calm and assuring and I think we both thought, "let's give it a whirl and see what happens." Things went badly last time and they were able to make it all work out, so each step along the way things got a little easier to say yes to. We waited for the next set of contractions to come and just like last time, Melissa kept her eyes shut tight the whole time. She pushed a few times and the the mood inside the room felt good. Just like last time, the baby was moving, but needed a little extra help getting out, so again, with a calm voice, Dr. Moore explained that Oliver was right there, but that with the assistance of a vacuum pump we might be able to get Oliver out quicker. This was also very familiar. These steps were taken with Charlotte as her heart rate began to drop and they kind of used the vacuum as a last resort to get her out before the emergency c-section. We agreed to the same for Oliver. Again, what harm will it do? If things go badly, they will make it work out somehow. So we waited for the next contraction. Dr. Moore positioned the pump on Oliver's head and a couple pushes later, there he was.
Last time I was so in shock I think I wasn't really able to cheer Melissa along, but this time it was different. There was just a different feeling in the room. One of promise and positivity and so this time I cheered Melissa along as she pushed with all of her might. Anyone who knows me really well knows that I can cry at weddings and sometimes even if I see a baby being born on tv I can get a little misty. I can be an emotional guy at certain times and I will never be able to explain the feeling I had inside when Oliver popped out. It is the only true "love at first sight." The rest was pretty normal, except this time Melissa and I got to share the moment together. We always joke that we're not exactly sure if Charlotte is ours because neither of us saw her come out. I won't be able to make that joke about Oliver because I got to be right there the whole time.
The nurses were busy taking care of Oliver and cleaning him up and I was able to kiss Melissa on her forehead and hold her hand and tell her what a great job she did. There is something so special about a baby being born and I'm so glad that we got to do things this way. We got to have the natural birth that we've always wanted and the fun part was that we never dreamed it would ever be a possibility. Melissa and I had been praying for a safe c-section and we prayed over and over about the procedure and all of the details. Apparently we were just praying for the wrong thing and God had bigger and better plans in store for us, but I can't say I'm not surprised because that has been God's m.o. in our lives for as long as I can remember.
Tomorrow, Oliver will be two weeks old and I already can't imagine life without him. He is the most laid back baby. My mom says he gets that from me. We plan to have more children so hopefully I'll get to write something like this again, but in the mean time I've never been more excited to be a husband, a daddy and child of my heavenly father.
-jay
I’m a father again – part 2
Melissa had been in the bathroom for a few minutes and Charlotte, like any good almost-two-year-old would do, kept bugging her mom. In hindsight, Melissa was laboring pretty good at this point and our guess is that she was probably already dilated about 5cm at this point. She had begun to text our friends who watch Charlotte when I'm out of town because they were our "plan b." "Plan a" was for my mom and dad to arrive on March 4th. We'd head to the hospital early morning March 5th and Charlotte would get to spend a couple of good days with my parents. But that plan was appreantly not going to work, so Melissa made contact with our friends to come up with the plan to drop off Charlotte. When Melissa had Charlotte, she did a great job. It was our plan to deliver naturally without any drugs or intervention and we basically did all up until Charlotte's emergency c-section. So this time around I knew what labor looked and sounded like. So when Melissa started making all of those far to memorable noises, I knew we had to get to the hospital like 5 minutes ago. Her contractions were coming probably every 4-5 minutes at this point so I knew our only chance was to work in between those contractions. I was running all over the house getting a few things together for Charlotte and just trying to get out of the door. Charlotte would watch me run around and then head back to the bathroom to see what noise mommy was making now. I looked at Melissa and said, "we have got to go now. If you don't get some clothes on and get in the car we are going to have to call an ambulance." My ultimatum seemed to work and we made our way to the car.
Charlotte and I sat in silence as we pulled out of the neighborhood. I called our hospital's emergency room to let them know we were on our way. I made that call at 7:56am. Google says the drive is 11.9 miles and 17 minutes, but I know we made it there in about 12 minutes...haha. We got all green lights and luckily it was Saturday morning, so the road traffic was light if any. There is one on ramp and one off ramp to get there and I'm surprised that the handle above the door wasn't pulled off by Melissa. They are those clover-leaf on/off ramps, so I had to manage not going too fast as to cause more pain to Melissa, but I also wanted to get there as fast as I could. Charlotte decided it would be funny to mimic the sounds that her laboring mommy was making and it was hard for me not to laugh. About three minutes away from the hospital Melissa let me know that her water had just broken. About two minutes away from the hospital she let me know that also had soiled her pants in another way. I just said, "that's OK" and we kept driving.
We pulled up to the emergency room entrance and our friend was already there to grab Charlotte. She ran in to get a wheelchair while I got Melissa's car door open and coaxed her out. We got Melissa on the wheelchair and wheeled her over to the desk. They had me fill out a short little form. Name, address, birthdate, social security number, etc. I was a little flustered so I wrote down all of my information...haha. I think they could see the urgency on my face and I know they could hear it in Melissa's groans, but the receptionist looked up and said, "she'll need to go through triage first." In my mind I screamed, "are you kidding me?" We didn't end up having to sit in the triage office, which was good because that baby would have been born right there otherwise.
Now, based on Melissa's history and the instruction of her doctor we were trained to let everyone know that we needed a c-section and that if she were to deliver naturally, things would probably go very badly. So I got behind the wheelchair and followed the nurse from the emergency room up to the labor and delivery floor. Again, I know a lot of ladies come into the emergency room dilated 1cm and can have a normal conversation to get checked in and will probably sit up in labor and deliver for hours before their baby comes. Our situation was a little different than that and I knew that time was of the essence, so I took off walking pretty briskly and the nurse looks over and says, "slow down dad, don't walk too fast." I wanted to say a few things to that lady, but instead I just kept up my pace and ignored her ignorance. We arrived at the elevator door, pressed the button and the door opened. This elevator had doors on both sides so as we are entering a lady from the kitchen with a large cart of lunch trays entered through the opposite door. The emergency room nurse actually looked at her and said, "do you mind if we go up first?" Again I had some things to say, but thankfully there was enough room for us, the wheelchair and the food cart to go up together.
We made our way onto the labor and delivery floor and they were expecting us, but again, had no idea (as they shouldn't) of Melissa's history. The lead nurse began asking Melissa some questions. If you ever get the chance, try to ask a lady who is 10cm dilated if she wants to go the bathroom, or if she can take her own clothes off or any question really. Maybe with an epidural and loads of drugs you could get some of those questions answered, but I would bet not. So I'm answering the questions and trying to tell these people our situation and history. The lead nurse checked Melissa out and found that she was fully dilated and that Oliver's head was right there. That's when the mood of the room changed from, "Oh, just another delivery....we'll be here a few hours before anything happens" to "Oh, we need to get a doctor in here fast." And that's when things got a little too familiar to me as quickly nurses swarmed in and once again, all too similar to last time I heard one nurse day, "where is dr. so and so" with a response of "oh, he's delivering a baby in room 62"..."well what about the other dr. so and so"..."I'm not sure where he is right now." This was the exact same thing that happened almost two years ago when Melissa was ready to deliver Charlotte. Before I knew it I counted 12 people in our room, but still no doctor in sight and everything inside of me thought, "here we go again."
to be continued...
I'm a father again - part 1
To understand our story you have to know our past, so feel free to refresh or catch up on Charlotte's birth story here. Part 1
With all of that in mind some things were similar and some things were different this time around. We joke that both Melissa's OB/gyn and I would not permit Melissa to become pregnant again, unless she agreed to a c-section this time around, no questions asked. Things just went badly last time and no one is exactly sure how things healed up and what scarring there may have been. I can't say I was surprised, when we found out Melissa was pregnant again, but we were just so blessed that she was able to get pregnant again and able to have a great pregnancy.
Pretty early on in Melissa's pregnancy she must have pulled some muscle between some ribs in her back and after her doctor diagnosed the problem by putting her finger between Melissa's ribs, she assured Melissa that her nagging back pain would probably be present the whole term because as Melissa's body grew to accommodate a baby, her ribs would never have time to heal. She also had a pretty tough sinus infection the last couple weeks of her pregnancy, but other than that the pregnancy went really well. Even after being diagnosed with hypothyroidism after Charlotte was born, Melissa's blood work always came back great throughout the pregnancy. When hypothyroidism is present the baby runs the risk of not developing and being on the small side. After each appointment and ultrasound with the prenatal medicine doctor we found that Oliver was always above the 50th percentile mark and at our last ultrasound before his birth he was at the 77th percentile mark. So needless to say, several things could have made this pregnancy impossible or tough, but God blessed us with nothing other than a few back pains and a stuffed up congested nose.
I'm not sure when it was but I think somewhere in the 20 weeks along period, after Melissa's routine exam, our doctor said, "OK, when do we want to schedule the c-section for?" We were amazed that they would schedule this so far out, but knowing this was our only option we gladly set a date that would cause Oliver to join us at right around 39 weeks. So Melissa plugged along and as the last few weeks crawled by we began to anticipate March 5th. We knew that the 5th was the last absolute day that we would have to wait to meet Oliver. Life is easier when there is a deadline, so we were anxious about when it might be, but hoping that we would make it until the 5th.
Last Wednesday, Melissa didn't feel to well and for the first time since we've been married and even longer than I can remember, she threw up. She's not the throwing up type, so it was kind of weird. She spent time in the bathroom doing other things that evening as well if you know what I mean. At about 2am she decided that she wasn't going to head to work that day because she just felt that at any moment she might throw up again. Thursday was my birthday, so in a way it was great to have her home that day, but she spent most of the day not feeling too well. I went to the store and bought my own birthday cake. Kudos to Melissa though for getting up in the middle of the night to hang a banner and crate paper that she knows I love waking up to. Charlotte decided that my birthday shouldn't be too fun either so she decided that even though she isn't two years old just yet, that she wanted a little bit of her terrible two's to show up that day. I'm not complaining or asking for sympathy. I was happy to spend the day with my family even if it wasn't perfect, but all of this was leading up to something big.
Melissa went to work on Friday and came home that afternoon feeling normal again. She asked if I wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate my birthday and like I always do I chose Outback. Bloomin' Onions will be served in heaven...just FYI. We had a great dinner and came home around 6:30. After putting Charlotte down for the evening, Melissa told me that she was having a few braxton hicks contractions which is quite normal at this stage in the pregnancy. But then they started to come a little more consistently so we even timed a couple. They eventually spread out really far and were really inconsistent so we went to bed and brushed it off.
Charlotte had been waking up around 4:00am the few previous mornings and usually I go in and rock with her in her big comfy chair so she'll sleep a few more hours. Since it was the weekend, Melissa volunteered to go and rock with her. I was awoken at 6:30 by Melissa and Charlotte because Melissa was getting tired of laying in the chair (can't blame her...she's 9 months pregnant). Our plans for our Saturday were to pack her hospital bag, clean the house really well before Oliver came and just get ready in general because, just over a week from then we would be bringing home our baby. We started a load of laundry consisting of clothes for Oliver and other blankets and such. We got so busy we didn't even eat breakfast. And that's when things started to happen. Melissa called me into the bathroom and that's when the day really began.
to be continued...